Death of a Minister well not literally
by CrimsonGear
Summary: An AU piece set in Order of the Phoenix for Lady Phoenix Fire Rose's 'Fudge's humiliation competition' using Sirius and Remus, after all Marauder's never grow up.


Another dare for Lady Phoenix Fire Rose. This also doubles as my entry into her 'Fudge's Humiliation Competition' as that was my dare.

I have chosen to attempt to destroy Umbridge and Fudge with the combined efforts of Moony and Padfoot :)

Enjoy~

* * *

"Anyone seen Sirius?" Remus asked coming into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place - usually Sirius was the first to greet him, yet he hadn't seen hide nor hair of the Azkaban escapee and for some reason, it unnerved Remus.

"No, not since yesterday evening," Harry supplied. "Maybe he's in his room?"

"No, I checked."

"You don't think he's gone out do you?" Molly asked worriedly, more out of concern for Dumbledore's response than her cousin's welfare.

"Who's gone out?" Sirius asked bouncing into the kitchen with a smile.

"Well we thought you had - got a bit worried since you hadn't mauled me yet," Remus said noting a glint in Sirius' eyes that really shouldn't be there - that of a Marauder getting ready to strike.

Apparently Sirius must have realised Remus knew he was up to something as his smile grew, "I was in the library actually, looking up a few things. Perhaps you could join me, Remus? There's a book or two that you might like to have a look at."

It was an invitation to be in on the joke, a well disguised one Remus noted, trying not to smile as objects were vanished inconspicuously as Sirius spoke - the man hadn't grown up at all had he?

"Sure why not? I've got some time." He shouldn't, he really shouldn't - but what the hell? It had been far too long since he'd done a prank.

"Excellent."

* * *

"So, what're you planning in here? Dye Molly's dress florescent orange? Turn Kreacher into a yeti? Put a censoring charm on your mum's portrait?" Remus asked cocking his head to the side and grinning.

"All wonderful suggestions, Moony," Sirius replied, mirroring Remus' grin as he lead the way to one of the tables. "But no. You remember that article in the Prophet a while back about Umbridge wanting all Werewolves tagged?"

Remus nodded. Even though the idea had been shot down (by an unfortunately narrow margin), it had made Remus rather dislikeful of Fudge's undersecretary. "What about it?"

"Well I figured we have a common enemy in the Ministry - they locked me up without trial and want you on a leash like a pet. I'm also getting rather sick of having far too much time on my hands. SO! I thought we'd have a bit of fun with old Fudgey-boy and Frog-bridge," Sirius explained, looking very much like a small child getting ready for Christmas. Remus chuckled at Sirius' nicknames, eyes falling on Sirius' well formulated plan - oddly resembling the style of Wiley Coyote from Looney Tunes, although Remus knew from experience Sirius' plan was unlikely to end in disaster on his part.

"To do some of this requires two people - am I to assume you're including Tonks in this?" Remus asked, falling easily into his old role of hole-picker.

"I didn't really intend for it - I's have probably gone to her next if you hadn't wanted to have a look though," Sirius admitted.

"But you can't leave the house," Remus argued.

"Just once, Remus, that's all I ask. I want to see the fruits of my labours and have a hand in setting them up - we'll do it at night and I'll use the invisibility cloak in the loft if you're that bothered about it," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Come on - you know you want to."

Remus sighed in defeat, he never could win arguments with Sirius. "Alright, fine. But if we get caught I won't bail you out."

"I can live with that," Sirius said with another childish grin.

* * *

"Mad... So mad... This is bloody crazy - why did I agree to this!" Remus hissed under his breath as he stood to the side with Sirius, both safely out of sight under Sirius' old invisibility cloak. Fudge was holding some kind of monthly briefing with all the Ministry workers, and Sirius had dubbed it the perfect time to strike with maximum impact.

"Oh lighten up - you're a Marauder remember? Grow some balls!" Sirius shot back jokingly. "Ten minutes, that's all it'll take and then we'll be gone."

Resigned to his fate, Remus sighed, "Mind if I start then?"

Sirius chuckled quietly, it seemed getting backed into a corner was letting out Moony's darker side. "Please do - probably better to start with Umbridge anyway."

Remus drew his eyes to meet Umbridge - the woman was babbling on about some event Remus could honestly say he didn't give a toss about. Taking care not to blink, Remus started muttering quickly under his breath, thankful he and Sirius had chosen a spot far enough away from the Ministry workers that he couldn't be heard.

Both men smirked as slowly, the curse began to have the desired effect. Umbridge's left arm jerked violently, causing her to drop her papers. As she bent to grab them (there were only a few), her legs jerked too, pulling her feet out from under her, sending the short woman to her knees with a cry.

Stifling a snicker, Sirius noted it was his turn and waved his wand at Fudge, who had been about to help Umbridge. Now instead he stood bent over staring blankly, mouth slightly open. Remus flicked his wand at Fudge who jumped with a start, looking around wildly.

An audible rip echoed through the room. Fudge seemed to realise exactly where the noise had come from as his eyes had widened and his face had turned bright red. Feeling behind him, Fudge jumped again as his hands felt a fluffy bump on his rear. Turning around on instinct as though it would help him to see, Fudge instead showed the room the delightful rabbit tail Remus had transfigured onto the Minister's tail bone.

Timing was key now. Both Remus and Sirius flicked their wands as their target cried out in surprise at Fudge's 'problem'. As the two crept further along the wall to avoid the possibility of being caught, Umbridge's nose blasted a brief fountain of blood before she fell backward, presumably fainting. Fudge on the other hand wasn't fairing much better. His ears had extended and were beginning to fuzz over with fur. Another problem was that his clothes were shrinking and morphing to the point where the Minister appeared to be wearing short-shorts and a very thin strip of fabric that barely covered his nipples let alone anything else.

"Ew," Remus noted quietly, grimacing at Fudge's new look, "can't say I like that. What _is_ your obsession with Playboy anyway?"

"Hang on - I'll fix it," Sirius replied, waving his wand again. "Interesting that his blush extends all the way down his neck though."

Fudge's clothes had shifted once more, well, more like they'd either stayed the same or vanished as all Sirius had done was conjure a cardboard box around Fudge (whose bunny-eared head was the only thing visible), saying 'Mischief Managed' in various colours on each side.

"I think you've forgotten something, Padfoot," Remus noted.

"What? Wait - you mean I can?" Sirius asked, hopping slightly under the cloak as he realised what Remus meant.

"Sure, Dumbledore is probably going to kill us already, may as well go out with a bang."

Sirius snickered and dived out from under the cloak already transformed into his dog form. Bounding up to the stage where Umbridge and Fudge were, Sirius did a quick run around Fudge before smirking (not that anyone could tell) and cocking his leg.

The two were laughing for hours after, recovering just before dinner, only to start snickering into the table when Arthur mentioned he'd had an 'odd' morning at work.

* * *

And done - hope you like it~


End file.
